PLEASE LOSE ENGLAND! WE’LL HAVE AN EASIER ROUTE TO THE FINAL!

PLEASE LOSE ENGLAND! WE’LL HAVE AN EASIER ROUTE TO THE FINAL!

‘It’s vitally important England lose badly tonight. We’ll get a much easier L16 opponent if we do’ - Piers ‘Mancini’ Morgan

‘Surely every single England fan will want us to lose our last group game’ - Andy ‘Guardiola’ Goldstein

*Inclusion of legendary manager surnames purely for satirical reasons*

Add these two, to the list of many remarks today from England fans, up and down the country. 

Please lose England! We’ll have an easier route to the final!

To the above - I have a very simple 4 word response. 

Shut 

The 

F***

Up

People have wondered for decades upon decades. Why do England seem to falter on the big stage? 

Seaman lobbed.

Algeria and USA unable to be beaten.

1/9 possible points in the favelas.

It seems with these ‘hope to fail’ shouts it’s becoming crystal clear why. 

Negativity.

A word injected, engrained and ever present in English fans DNA. 

The hope for a contingency plan to cheek their way to victory shows fans at their worst. I understand wanting to do well. But not doing well, to do well, seems like the most counterproductive option of all time.

Tournaments are about quality first off - but success within is heavily dependent on Form, Mentality and Togetherness. The latter both within the group and with the fans that are urging them to end many, many years of tears and heartbreak. 

The highly broadcasted hope for England to lose their final group game against the Czech’s tonight is highly damaging. 

Potentially more-so than Daily Mail drivel depicting Kalvin Phillip’s very irrelevant personal struggles. Or even the highly unnecessary call out of Raheem Sterling’s tattoo choices. 

Just two high profile examples of the tabloids weird need to try and unnerve the same people they will be cheering for like the fickle so and so’s they are.

The Three Lions third highest ever goalscorer, Gary Lineker, put it nicely on Twitter earlier on today.

‘Lot of Rubbish about whether England are better off losing for easier last 16 game. You play to win every game. Winning gives confidence. If you’re scared of playing France/Germany you’ve got no chance of winning the tournament anyway. Let’s stop being so bloody cautious. Attack!’

Some good support by the crisp loving silver fox. 

It’s also important to note that, whilst the ‘if we came 2nd’ loving oddballs are planning what will happen if we fail, we won’t even avoid ‘the big boys’. We will simply delay the fixture. 

What happens if we lose to these ‘easier options’. 

Iceland - Episode 2.

Gareth Out?

FA in dire straits.

Big Sam back!

No thanks.

It may have (almost) worked in Russia. But that was an unintentional one off. 

Competition is about winning. Sport is about success. Football is about 3 points.

England are about David Platt’s winner. Eric Dier’s penalty. Sterling scoring in his hometown.

Would you turn back time, get rid of Gazza’s dentist chair defining moment, and (potentially) avoid Germany? 

If you would - Eastenders is on at 8 tonight. Mick Carter would love to see you.

But if you wouldn’t…

Moan about the team at 7pm.

Scream the anthem at 7.57pm. 

Cheer every corner like a goal, and every goal like a winner.

France. Germany. Portugal.

Bring it on. It’s Coming Home mate.